The $1.49 solution

Cheap solution for a big messy problem in the national news

Warning: This is a natural health post. Health, as we all know, has to do with normal body functioning…including poop. Proceed with caution if you get weirded out by that kind of thing.

I have to hand it to him. Kudos for taking on the topic, that is.

Recently “All In with Chris Hays” did a report about the impact of “flushable”  wipes (adult and otherwise) has on the sewage systems. Whether the demand for personal hygiene wipes was consumer-driven or industry-driven doesn’t matter. What matters is that it doesn’t have to happening at all.

The wipes, not the wiping. The wiping part is good. Clean is good. Wet style is fine…that’s why they invented the bidet. Compared to the full on hose-off, a wet wipey is pretty tame by comparison. The problem isn’t removing unwanted excrement from unmentionable body parts…the problem is the tons of non-biodegradable thingy-whazzits we use to do it. Bidets just use water, then normal toilet tissue. That stuff breaks down if you look at it crossways. Toilet paper hasn’t been an issue for modern sewage systems and septic friendly versions have been around for quite a while, too, as I understand it. The pop-up wipes are the new thing…and the problem.

According to the “All In” report, wipes of this types contain some sort of acrylic element (acrylic – you know, plastic. Like the stuff in nail polish, and aquariums). Since when is plastic not a major environmental problem?

There is a solution. And it is yours for around $1.49.


Easy. And cheap. And environmentally friendly.  So of course, it probably will never happen. Consider, just for a moment, this:

Get an inexpensive bottle of witchhazel solution from your local big box store. It’ll cost pennies compared to wipes, baby, adult or otherwise. Keep said bottle within arms reach of the toilet. Feel the need for a wet wipe? Fold up several sheets of ordinary toilet paper, put a few drops of witch hazel on them and have at it.

First and foremost, it is going to feel COLD. But no more than a pop up wipe I would imagine. Second of all, it soothes skin anywhere on the body, including the posterior private portions. Third, for all you mamas out there…it does very nice things for external hemorrhoids.

Repeat at liberty. You’re clean, and the wipes you just created are well and truly flushable, natural and biodegradable.

Bam. Drop the mic. Millions of dollars and poopie bummies saved.